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Wee-Hour Ecstasy

2010-01-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

Resolutions..ever brought bliss on their first attempt.. ?
Could a morning be darker than a Gotham night ??
Trees didn't answer..
They took an early shower..
For the coal-coated dance floor was wet.

The usual gang decided not to bark this time..
Saw me after a long time, maybe it was the scent..
Nothing was awake..Just the you-are-safe whistle far away..
I had heard this silence before.

While mankind slept..
Few under cozy blankets..
Street lights did their solar act..
High beam made many turn sides on the footpath...
It got the fog into high-magnificence mode..
Some conspiracy theory.

Dense leaves shuffled..
Maybe they felt it too..
Inside..a group of monkeys I couldn't see..
something told me..
They were staring.

Newspaper boy went for extra mufflers..
His cycle thanked him.. it wasn’t a heavy Sunday..
Wet tarmac earned him an extended sleep...
Few droplets hit hard on my face..
"Welcome back".

Still wondered, were they all asleep..?
Was I the only one tasting this..?
I Invited John o' Callaghan with 'Big Sky'..
Suddenly, the wind woke up to the trance.

I knew He was there.
And I ran.

Got Issues - Part 1

2009-12-11T20:30:00.000-08:00

It couldn’t have got worse for Pumba. On a day when the Sun came out 10 minutes before schedule time, when the delicious worms decided to stay under big cozy rocks to give Copenhagen a miss for an extended sleep session and Timon cleared his throat during his early morning chores, Pumba knew this wouldn’t be his day. And rightly so.

Scrolling through the mails he found almost everyone on Planet Dirt mailing him. Crazy subjects, sent repeatedly, humongous attachments and they were never ending. He decided to unclutter life. So, today’s mission: Delete all useless mails sent after last night and read all the important ones, and yeah, delete them after reading. Muscles flexed, eyebrows relaxed, a can of baked worms with salsa sauce, and Pumba was ready to march (read click).

‘Walk-Ins at Zek Tanindra, Baccenture, Outofsys’ – mostly, the mails had these subjects. So Pumba went on saying, “Delete, delete, trash, spam, delete, spam again”. Soon he realized, they were not disappearing from the Inbox. Gods of Realization hit on him and he actually started deleting them. He even deleted the one that Timon sent. The subject, “Let’s make a new State 1.0’. And then, the retina of his eyes came out, the balls came later. The most dreaded mail was lying there, staring right into the trembling Pumba. The mail from his programme coordinator, his name we can’t disclose due to ‘strategic’ security reasons. And the subject said ‘ABCD(EFG) - Tri-II & V: Important Notice - Lecture by Jungle Book Awardee’.

Pumba gulped down another can. Bravely, he opened it. And yes, what he feared, came true. It was lying right there in bold, underlined Trajan Pro 22 text.

‘Attendance Compulsory’.

New Slide, Old Presentation

2009-12-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

Ram Babu wept. He had failed to produce ‘something substantial’ in the presentation (read pee pee tea) that he gave to the Sharma’s. They had never been so harsh with any of their servants, until this day. Credit goes to Akhilesh. He has changed things. Ever since he finished his 2 year full time diploma in management, there have been some serious changes in the house. Veervati has to wear formals (heels optional) while cleaning utensils and sewing some torn Mr Sharma-vests. She has adapted well to these changes. But Ram Babu hasn’t. They had just asked him to give a five minute presentation on various processes, tools & techniques involved in cleaning the house. He did it. Only if he could have memorized the mission of the Sharma house (1st slide), he would have not been shown the pink slip. But Veervati did. In fact, she spoke it more energetically than Mrs Sharma had once demonstrated. Now, she can come in casuals on Sunday’s.

Last heard from Santosh, a regular jobless at Guptaji tea stall, Ram Babu had decided to start ‘something of his own’ and was looking for funding. Guptaji on the other hand has recently benefitted a lot from Akhilesh’s IT implementation. Now the poor guy doesn’t have to keep that small little damp diary for accounting purposes. Every time his customer leaves saying ‘likh lena’, he just has to press a few buttons on his mobile phone to update the excel sheet. And yes, even he can’t figure out why the entry goes into the ‘credit’ side. Have to wind up soon. Need to copy group 8’s assignment from the server, rename it, and paste it in my group’s folder. And after morphing a pic on Photoshop for my Facebook account, have to find the best laptop deal for Veervati. Maybe, I don’t have time for the latter. Anyone? CR?

The F Revolution !!

2009-06-28T01:34:00.000-07:00

Last week, a research reported the sudden increase in the number of parents logging on to Facebook to keep a check on their child’s activities. Ever heard of the multiplier effect of addicts? But at times, it’s not as bad. Take for example, a certain spoiled brat Mukesh on Facebook. He got a weird message on his Wall from his brother Anil. The entire issue was about some gas their dad had bought for them. They fought for days, even months, writing hate messages on each other’s walls. FB authorities poked, but in vain. And then, Koks aunty, Anil-Mukesh’s mother, arrived on Facebook. Within minutes, both the brothers were sending her millions of virtual gifts. The gas case was soon solved when all three of them had an intense FB chat session. Next up, the ‘Budget’ app has been created by a fellow named Pranab. He has already received millions of friend requests from all over the country. Pet Society, last heard, was being flooded with ‘red’ and ‘saffron’ coloured stray animals.

All Hail The King

2009-05-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

No ‘I-told-you-so’ moments this time around at the park in the morning. Political pundits have been stunned. The winning party has stunned itself. By now Vajpayeeji must have slapped his forehead in disappointment. He did it last when Lal Krishna Advani declared that BJP would take the field with ‘Hindutva’ printed in Bold Times New Roman Font-Size 36 on their t-shirts. By now the Gujarat mass murderer must have wiped his forehead twice to check for anymore pitch black dirt. But that dirty history deserves a mention only after we taste the sweet present and sip on the delicacies in store for us in the future. We don’t need the according-to-my-laptop’s-excel-sheet-graphics political pundits to tell us about two major conclusions that can be drawn easily from this verdict. Firstly, honesty has been rewarded stupendously, hardline hindutva has been pushed out from the back door and that too with some force. Secondly, it has come at a time when the sapling called India is showing rapid growth on garden Earth. There is a sense of inclusive growth creeping in. A sapling needs exactly that to grow into a tree.

The electorate has spoken, and no article, no blog, no analysis can precisely explain this phenomenon called ‘Manmohan Singh’. When was the last time we saw an honest and dedicated man known being referred to as The King? The button pressed by billions of Indians shows that our electorate is not at all stupid. BJP did not lose the elections on 16^th May. It lost it when they chose to go ahead with their Hindutva agenda and the casket was finally sealed when L.K. Advani decided to go head on against Manmohan Singh. 16^th May was just an epic movie that remembered those who lost and honoured the honesty of The King and its Men.

Such clean sweeps used to be in vogue when our fathers used to participate in some serious lunch-time-prediction sessions at their respective offices. But now, the armchair analysts who sat inclined towards the Congress would now be standing up to salute the runner-up. And rightly so. L K Advani deserves the applause for whatever he has done for the nation. And I expect a thundering cheer in the coming days for the man who was missed the most by the BJP. Atalji, a great man – in stature and soul. It is very sad that BJP has reduced a fine nationalist to a mere excuse. BJP has been exemplary in its own way. One should learn that one tablespoon each of a chubby goonda, a mass murderer and a tentwallah are the perfect ingredients to make a shameful smelly dish. Vir Sanghvi explained it appropriately on NDTV. "Advani era is over, Rajnath will face the axe and the Young Jerks of BJP will hold Narendra Modi at the forefront."

The highlights package will flash on your scene for days. It will include the fine governance of Navin Patnaik and Nitish Kumar being rewarded. Also, a ping pong game called Delhi, that ended with the skunk or whitewash of 7-0. The King will go to bed thinking about more policies like the NREGA to come up in the next five years. For now, we can sip on some chilled delicacies of the future- Dream team of Omar Abdullah, Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Schin Pilot, Naveen Jindal, Milind Deora and many more. The mood is good inside every house, even if it has some dying lotus in its garden. The occupants need not worry much. When the fragrance completely oozes out of the lotus and its patrons come out of the illusion it had caused, there will be no chaos. For the hand blesses all, it doesn’t distinguish who built a temple or who let a mosque fall.

Shoe Away !!

2009-04-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dharampal was about to be crucified by his father, not because he had thrown something at his father, because that something got severely damaged in the process as it missed the target by some 15 inches. It was a black one, belonging to the family of Barricades and the clan of Adidas. Size 11. They shelled out 312 Singapore dollars for it when they had visited Mustafa, the shopping arcade in Singapore, where Dharampal found a three year old beneath a heap of clothes. He was searching for his mother who was not seen or heard for two days, ever since she realized that the basement section was exclusively for crockery and jewellery. Back to the shoe, Dharampal was no mean journalist and his father was not addressing any press conference. Still I cannot comprehend how in-our-house acts like these manage to creep outside and reach remote places like Iraq. But all said and done, we have to accept it, throwing a shoe has never gone up the charts like it has now, and Facebook is looking at ways to get back its 1^st position on the ‘People Fads’ list.

MBA analysts, who did a lot of research, wearing blazers, ties and pointed formal shoes to office, have confirmed reports of skyrocketing sales of Bata shoes. The army chief announced yesterday about their tie up with Lakhani Shoes for the supply of these newly discovered weapons. It seems people have finally recognized the brands they think are good for such a cause. “Yeh public hai saar, sabse ghatiya joote se maaregi (The people of India, they will hit their target with the most pathetic shoes.)”, explained Surinder Singh, a shopaholic. The other night Samie came home for coffee and asked me why was I making this such an issue and not making other issues like Angelina Jolie’s threat to Brad Pitt and Rihaana’s breakup as issues. I had two things to say, after which I had a shoe ready to be flung, just in case he could not comprehend the two points. Firstly, why the hell is everyone missing the target? Bush was spared by a wind blowing in the hall. Ok, had I been in Iraqi journalist’s shoes, I would have tried again with the right one. Then Wen Jiabao was meted with a similar treatment at Cambridge. Had I been Jiabao, I would have retorted back with a pair of red sneakers. The Israeli ambassador to Sweden was also hit by a shoe when he was addressing an audience in Stockholm University. My second point, and a more important one was that why can’t we get creative in this era. And who better to do it than a surd. Jarnail Singh would have gained more brownie points had he used his socks instead for Chidambaram. They are more smelly, torn at the edges and would certainly have made India stand out in the league of nations.

Last heard, the coffee chain Barista was organizing a shoe fest, where pairs would be formed, an attacker and a target. I doubt if they can really measure what they intend to, how stylish the shoes would be and how beautifully they are thrown. Flavours of this season as my shoe targets? A Gujarat mass murderer and a Delhi tentwallah. But I guess Ankur, the dhobbi boy, would put my shoes to much better use. Last heard from Mrs. Neeta Ghulati, a GK-I resident, at a fundraiser : “A man is judged by what kind of a SHOE he is thrown at.” Reuters have just confirmed, Facebook is thinking of replacing its first four letters with the craze of the town. In the streets, wannabes have evolved too.

“Hey Man, Got Shoe?”

Ayo, Wattsupp Revolution !!

2009-02-11T22:09:00.000-08:00

This is a protest against all those kaam waalis(maids) and car-wash guys who think they can get away with four figure monthly salaries and still be absent on critical days when the homemakers are expecting a VVIP visit. A candle light march was organized to pay tribute to all the housewives traumatized due to this heinous and gruesome sudden absence of maids. Two women, with startling resemblance from one of my favorite Ekta Kapoor serials, Kandles Ki Kudiyaan, were at the forefront of the march to India Gate, which brought together all the housewives from different parts of Punjabi Bagh. “This is our 11/12, enough is enough, humien iski jawaabdehi chahiye.”

Just when I finished registering my solidarity for the cause, by clicking “Yes” on the wall of “Homemakers Hit Back”, a remarkable initiative on Facebook by one of the tech-savvy homemakers, a friend called late at night, apparently after lighting a candle in his room as the local electricity board was on a strike. Their new bettery-candles were not being sold at all in these marches to India Gate. Sources say their head electrician being kicked out in the final round of the qualification of Roadies 6.4 could be a clandestine reason behind their clamor. Coming back to the friend, he had a business plan. Scented candles, multi-colored candles, Facebook candles, Roadies candles. He was already on his way, compiling a ppt, showcasing the estimated figures and pie charts related to the business plan. I was taken in by the Roadies candles. The very next morning, I poked him, before fine tuning my french-beard. ”Will they really be able to perform those tasks which other candles did with an attitude? Will they be able to withstand the challenges posed by Naqvi’s lipstick powder women?” His reply was startling, “ Dude, **** *** ”.

We are looking for funding.

Different Strokes

2009-02-05T01:29:00.000-08:00

“Right arm over, medium faasht”, declared Maamu, adjusting his belt to the expansion he experienced in his belly after finishing his lunch. He marked his run up with precision. Bittoo screamed, ”Mammu, dheele ho to merko karne do firssht over (If you don't feel good, let me bowl the first over)”. Mammu, relentlessly shining the cosco bowl on his right thigh, expecting some reverse swing, paid no heed to Bittoo’s plea. He was right, it was humid, air was still and full of dust, ideal conditions for reverse swing. I gazed at all of them with such excitement, could feel the tension on Salim’s face, boldest of them all. He had just washed his eyes after being struck by a Maamu bouncer in the previous match they played before Sumit and I joined them. “Aaane do maamu, ab terko bataata hoon (Bring it on Maamu, I'll show you now)”, with that shout from the opening batsman Salim, a 7 over match started, and the village crowd grew in number with every ball bowled.

A huddle was formed, when I was bowled by Sumit. The huddle was a celebration, a victory, neither of any team, nor of any particular player. All nine of us in the huddle, celebrated the end of one of the finest cricket matches we had ever played. We opened the small 2 rupee plastic water cans and drank to Bittoo’s “Ye hai youngistaan” shouts. No one knew for which team we batted for or bowled for. No one knew who had won. We had kicked a lot of dust while playing and even stepped over spots where the local buffalo, in his post lunch session, had decided to stop, watch a few strokes and relieve with little shame. What happened after the first ball was bowled and before the last wicket fell is as unexplainable as the “Nadal-Federer” episode of my previous post. Tinku colliding with a buffalo while going for a catch, little Miss Chutki, with a tomboyish look, saving three runs by unconsciously hurling her stick to stop a fast moving ball towards the boundary, the ‘well-bowled’ and “shaaabash maamu” shouts by some bloke at the boundary line, who moved from his place only when it was his turn to bat, these were just a few of those unforgettable moments.

Many thanks to Maamu, Salim, Chutki, Bittoo, Tinku and the other two horribly funny characters who had very difficult names to remember. Sumit and I may ride again to the same place someday for another dose of ‘village-bliss’, only if the school run by some Shankar Sharma doesn’t change its mind and re-admits these seven students it kicked out, apparently for not being able to pay the tuition fees. Salim thinks this wasn’t the reason. Now he doesn’t idolize Sehwag anymore. His bat, broken from edges, now reads “Shahid Afridi”.

The King & The Master

2009-02-01T00:21:00.000-08:00

The wait is over. No words can describe what these two have achieved till date and what they will in the coming years. Forget the expert analysis, the physical states, ignore the past records, leave behind who is better on what surface, disremember the semi-final if you can and overlook the 5 hours, 13 titles and other numbering blah-blah. Sit back, pick up some strawberry and cream or whatever gets you going. Think for once those greatest rivalries you could not witness live. Borg-McEnroe, Evert-Navaratilova, Becker-Edberg, Sampras-Agassi. Today, not a single spare seat at The Rod Laver Arena. For me, as always, ‘Vamosssing’ in the Rafa camp. It doesn't get better than this. Rafa in four.

Ladies and gentlemen, quiet please. Time.

How dare you!! Yes We Can too

2009-01-28T09:12:00.000-08:00

“The 12th person to do so“ – said Kiran, glued to the television with unimaginable levels of excitation in each cell inside her body.

Sten Guns, AK-##, noose-to hang, grenades, fire extinguishers, mosquito sprays, rat poison, pesticides, The ‘Taliban of India’ shall be nipped in the bud completely before it is allowed to spread like the wildfire that did in Afghanistan. How could they even think of forming such an ideology and then assaulting women in pubs when the basic ‘laws of the land’ permit women to enter pubs, consume alcohol, smoke cigarettes etc. How dare these people try to teach the real ‘Indians’ the culture of India. Don’t you guys understand that we are the real India and we set the trends and thereby the culture of India. We are free to consume alcohol and enter pubs any time of the day. If you stops us, we’ll get the media support, we’ll set up facebook groups, we’ll form a huddle near the India Gate, we’ll stroll to Jantar Mantar in demand for your execution. Dare not teach us any kind of ‘Indiannes’. What comes to our minds when we see ourselves as Indians is ‘democracy’, ‘cricket’ and painted faces while watching cricket. We are obsessed with gadgets, cars, bombs and other toys of super citizens of a to-be superpower. Beware. We can file public litigation cases if you tell us to sing ‘Hum honge kaamyaab’ instead of ‘Yes We Can’. Yes We Can.

Please understand that we are free to crucify anyone who interferes with our personal matters, for e.g. anyone doing some kind of moral policing and telling us that low waste jeans are so not a part of our Indian culture. But we can afford to praise Obama for his dislike for such kind of fashion. Yes We Can.

Please understand, we are free to be addicted to the news channel on 20^th January and remember for eternity that Barack Obama was the 44^th President to take oath. And we can feel completely fine about being unaware of what number is Pratibha Patil on the list of Presidents Of India.

So what if our stylish Tennis player sits in front of our national flag with her feet pointed towards it, and you hooligans, we can just slay you in the media if you question her preference for ‘I Love NY’ t-shirts. Yes We Can.

Please understand that we are free. We are free to choose Eminem without even lending an ear to Pandit Jasraj. We can freely join dancing classes where we learn to move like Shakira, so what if we don’t know if Padma Vibhushan Birju Maharaj is a Kuchipudi dancer or Kathakali dancer. Yes We Can.

We are free to know eagerly about who won the Oscar or The Nobel Prize, so what if we can forget the correct ranking of Padma Shri, Bharat Ratna, Padma Vibhushan in decreasing/increasing order of their importance. Yes We Can.

We are free to jump lights when no one is watching and we have a really important meeting to attend, but we can appreciate for at least the next two years since our arrival from the US, while socializing, that they have very strict traffic laws and surprisingly people obey them too. Yes We Can.

Then why shall Mrs Ahuja worry about her son going out for a smoke with his friend. He is in free India. Yes He Can. Why should Mr Arora get tensed when he hears that his daughter had hard drinks at a gig last night? She is an Indian. Yes She Can.

This country gives us the same freedom the way The United States or The United Kingdom gives its citizens. Is it just our passports that are the last remains of anything that indicates that we are Indians? Or is it the paint on our faces when India plays in the World Cup of Cricket? The horrible acts of Sri Ram Sene cannot be tolerated, goes without saying. But why not act in a professional manner and centre our debate on a more critical issue, which might even be something what this Sene stands for. It is time to think for once what comes to our minds when we think about ‘being an Indian’?

And by the way, if at all, any of my patriots feel a little disturbed for not knowing what number is Pratibha Patil in the list of Presidents of India, you can look back to the first line of this post.

Satyam - Our experiments with truth

2009-01-23T22:18:00.000-08:00

Satyam. Raju. Forged accounts. Fake employees. Inflated figures. More forged accounts. No doubt ‘Enron of India’ has just confirmed our claim to fame as a ‘global superpower’. And yes, comparing the enormity of the fraud with that of Enron’s, we are now true competitors on a global platform. So just like 9/11 of India is slowly fading away, ‘Enron of India’ shall pass too in the same way if we don’t consider it as one of the most important case studies in the history of our corporate frauds. Two questions lie before us. How many more Satyams do we have in our corporate kitty? What is there for us to learn from this saga?

To answer the first question actually depends on We The People. If we treat this fraud as serious as 26/11 and pressurize the government in the same way, even an ephemeral collective out pour from our side could at least expose some part of the iceberg or clear the air about companies like Wipro which, like Satyam, have been blacklisted by World Bank. How can every citizen contribute? Any employee can certainly be a whistleblower (they get huge rewards these days) whenever he senses foul play in the company where he/she works in. Of course, losing a job in these days would be one of the reasons one might not want to do that. But losing one’s integrity on any day is probably the worst fraud one can do with oneself.

Secondly, Learn? For us there is not much except that we must introspect and throw away the Raju inside us, whether he lures us to steal Rs 10 or 10 million. Educational institutions must act collectively and impart moral and ethical lessons at various levels in a creative fashion. Being creative here is important. We don’t want such an important subject to become like Physics or Mathematics, where huge lessons in truck-load of books are studied inside classrooms and hardly make their way outside in the everyday life of an individual. Gandhigiri in books was hardly being practised in our modern India. But when Sanjay Dutt marketed it creatively, it at least made people aware and now even has many young people subscribing to it.

Jeffrey Skilling, the Enron-chief, was sentenced to more than 24 years in prison. I am sure our Mr. Raju must have read this piece of news. If such punishments do not act as deterrents, they hold no meaning at all. I ask the Indian Judiciary to get real. Like most other thugs, the Rajus were seeking fame. So before the court sentences Raju into some custom made palatial prison for umpteen years, let him be given a perfect goodbye, at least by his shareholders. New Delhi’s central park in Connaught place Place has a huge pole where a man can be tied and the park can accommodate all shareholders easily. Shoes please.

Modi-fying India

2009-01-19T03:34:00.000-08:00

Robin Hood, was an ace thief. And so, he was aptly known as The Prince of Thieves. A land of crooks must have its leader as one who has either masterminded these crooks or has done something far bigger in terms of crime. Remember the way his gang used to propitiate him? When our corporate warlords could not really make something out of the offer made to them to govern our country in the aftermath of 26/11 (ask Shobha De & Suhel Seth), they are now voicing their frustration by publicly advocating the election of another warlord, that of mass murderers. At this juncture, we need not rile about the deeds of such an improbable candidate, instead we must realize that we first need to create an image of a Prime Minister who would be apt for our nation and then see who fits in the position best.

Practically, it would take hundreds of eminent people of our country and enormous discussions amongst them to come to a conclusion about the characteristics of an ideal Indian Prime Minister. However, in the context of today’s circumstances, it is possible to briefly mention some particular qualities that the Prime Minister of this nation should certainly not have, if we are to even dream of becoming a global superpower in the coming years, decades, or may be millenniums.

7 Race Course Road shall certainly not house someone who has communal division on his mind. In Vir Sanhgvi’s language, we don’t need a brash demagogue as our PM, shouting questions at the crowd and waiting to hear a huge roar in response. Also, he should not be banned to visit our coveted friend, the United States and propitiate it when India is in despair. Yes, Narendra Modi has the charisma of a regional leader, somewhat comparable to what NT Rama Rao had in the 1980s. But can a mass murderer who sponsored the riots in 2002 lead a secular nation? True, that there is no evidence to prove that Modi ordered the killings, but he fought the election that followed those riots on a communal agenda and by seeking to link every Indian Muslim with Pakistan. It is hard to believe how ‘icons’ of corporate India, Anil Ambani & Sunil Mittal can back such a candidate. The next general elections shall prove that statements of such ‘icons’ have no impact on the awakened citizen of India. Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy January 20^th, when the Big O starts working on his promise to bring change to the people of America and erase the racism dwelling in the country.

Kukoo, Say Sorry To Momma

2008-12-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

And he did, after pleading his case inside papa’s room. He did, after crying for an hour on that unforgettable night. And after he really said sorry and promised he would never do the unthinkable again, his mother breathed a sigh of relief. And after she really breathed a second sigh of relief, she was not surprised when she realised that she still couldn’t sleep peacefully that night. She discussed with Kukoo’s father if Kukoo handing over his resignation would help bring her an iota of peace to her. Or if Kukoo could go to the local community centre and apologize in front of the entire village. Kukoo did the latter and guess what, Momma slept well. But only for a few nights.

Loony tunes? (see Barkha Dutt’s ‘Loony Tunes’, 20/12/2008 Hindustan Times) certainly. From the atrocious amount of airtime given to the funny minister to articles in major newspapers expecting A.R.Antulay be hanged or given life imprisonment or stripped from his position, they all need a better platform. Cartoon network, Disney Channel or even India TV for that matter.

Our newly found obsession of seeking apologies is certainly not as ephemeral as candle light marches or slogan shouting or even those revolutions started by many ‘patriotic’ people in the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks. It started when we did intensive research for our nation-wide revolution. We recorded videos of many news channels, bifurcated them, took a part of them to the laboratories, applied some image recognition software and found that Ram Gopal Verma was at the ‘iconic’ Taj. Then in the same laboratories we brought in R.R. Patil and Abbas Ali Naqvi for careful examination of their statements. They were given injections of public outrage unless they apologized or gave away their coveted positions.

There is no point in discussing what we really gain by focussing on seeking apologies from such people. Resignation? Yes, no doubt it should be demanded when people cross the line. But in doing so, the media should not cross the line by giving unnecessary air time to people who don't matter much. It is very unfortunate that the news channels think that they are the only ones which a viewer is watching. The fact is that about 60% of all the 55 news channels in India are available to a common man subscribed to cable television. This means that the viewer will hear almost 30 news anchors demanding apologies from the same person in 30 minutes. And imagine when at prime time there are two faces at the desk pouring out news, in a childish turn-by-turn.

It is shameful to see that knowing Kukoo is relatively weak, we still spare not even a single second of airtime to embarrass him. Also, the fact that others like Kukoo have committed more heinous crimes and are still at large makes me hide my face, and no veil is sufficient, neither Manoj Kumar’s nor that of globalisation.

Going through pages of psychology books will certainly help in knowing better what effect do apologies have on both, the seeker and the giver. If this is the way we are going to focus and bring about a revolution, I feel sorry for Jai Prakash Narayan. He worked hard in his revolution and failed but we could have learnt a lot from that episode. If we think we’ll sleep better from now on after listening to apologies, I feel sorry for the All India Radio’s late night edition of ‘Puraane Gaane’, rendered out of fashion years back.

There are so many other things that momma can do to make her house and society a better place to live in. Firstly, by sticking to her values imparted to her by her ancestors. Then, by giving kukoo high quality education. Also, by discussing issues of national importance at the dinner table, rather than inflating Ekta Kapoor’s silk purse. If the argument is that kukoo has grown up and still behaving unethically, momma certainly should look at the way she has educated him instead of scolding him and pulling his ears till he gives an apology. The basic flaws in momma’s way of bringing up kukoo are just not confined to this one house in the village. The corner house in the same street paid less attention to Pragya’s upbringing. Little Narendra in his childhood was never allowed to sit with Suleman in his school bus by his parents. Raj was not stopped at school when he used to harass Rohit Yadav everyday. And most of all, the entire village community was busy buying tickets at the local lottery booth when their children picked up bidis to smoke behind their backs.

I don’t know how many calamities are required to make us look back at our system of bringing up children. Until then, Kukoo may keep on saying sorry for every wrong he does. After all, if he never felt shameful for abusing his brother that night, he may well never feel shameful at all when he is forced to say ‘Sorry’. But I do, because we don’t feel the same when we strive to hear this four letter word, and feel that battles are won or lost on such petty issues.

And Now...?

2008-12-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

Another blog on Mumbai? Another 'Talk' and 'No Action' ? Maybe Not. Read On.
Initially I wrote the following to all the leading journalists, but only a few replied. But then I felt that I should address as many people as possible. Here it goes, and I welcome any criticism with an open mind and arms(not those arms ;) ).

By now, you must have read thousands of blogs and watched plenty of news where people are expressing their feelings about what happened in Mumbai. First and foremost, I have been watching almost every news channel and therefore have witnessed every kind of outrage from all sections of the society. What I wish to convey is something many have not touched upon till now. Shyam Benegal came a little close and I think he should have said more that day when Barkha Dutt asked him about all this happening around. What I wish to convey should be understood when the reader is calm and does not have a lump in his/her throat due to flashing of horrifying images in Mumbai. The subject of this e-mail is simple, there is a disease in our society, and any disease can either be cured or prevented or both. What follows is logical reasoning behind where I think we are going wrong and what should be done in future.

Firstly, I would like to comment on the reactions I saw on national television of some of the eminent people of our country. Suhel Seth & Shobha De went all guns blazing attacking the politicians. There is no doubt that politicians have defaulted big time and there is just no excuse for the mistakes which they have made. But by telling them to move out or stay out of the city and telling them to resign, we are merely aggravating the problem at hand. Here is where we are about to go wrong. Both, Shobha and Suhel, are looked upon as idols by many young people in the society. As a result, I have seen people in marches to Jantar Mantar literally abusing the politicians. My argument: Do we have politicians who can guarantee 100% security? If we kick the politicians out, do we have some replacement system by which these people wish to run our country? Akin to what happened in US, that many elites were accused of embracing the decision of Bush to attack war, and were unwilling to send their own children into the armed forces, the same question must be asked to those who are publicly abusing politicians. Can parents tell their children to study hard so that they can become politicians some day, instead of getting into lucrative careers after doing their MBA? Or can people like Suhel Seth ask their children to get into Navy or join NSG? My message in this regard is this: Start trusting them, start believing in them and you'll soon see the change in them. Even the most corrupt politician will come on the right track after he is labelled as "an honest man" in public. It may sound a kind of Gandhigiri, but sadly it's true, that Baapu would have given the same message had he been alive. We simply need to believe in them, just as we believe in our armed forces.

Secondly, do we really have enough time to indulge in criticizing people like Ram Gopal Verma for his visit to the Taj? Let's rise above these issues. Let's rise above Abbas Ali Naqvi's and R.R. Patil's statements. The reason to do so is because we are not solving the issue at hand through all this and we are unnecessarily giving publicity to people who are seeking it badly. Just imagine, can terrorism be stopped by telling Ramu and other people like him to stay away from these incidents? Can terrorism be stopped if Mr Naqvi and Mr Patil don't say these things on national television? I guess you would have a logical answer by now. It is here where we differ from the professional American nature. They won't get into all these time wasting activities.

After carefully analyzing our anger towards such an incident I am sorry to conclude that we only shout when people who sound or look like us face such situations. Where were Suhel Seth and Shobha De when hundreds of people died in Bihar floods and when so many people committed suicide in Vidarbha. Certainly the media didn't decide to have 24x7 coverage when these events were taking place. When these things happened, none of us came out with candles on the streets; none of us shouted slogans against politicians. The diseases are many, namely, poverty, education, terrorism etc. We cannot prioritize them based on the kind of people who are affected because of these diseases. If we do, we will unconsciously be indulging in economic and social discrimination. The disease is spread through worms in our minds, we need to get them out first, and what will follow will be a never heard of peaceful nation, where people shall live happily with each other irrespective of who drives which car and who bows down in front of which God.

Now what follows is the most important part of my message. There is an analogy to the current situation. The polio endemic in 1952 took thousands of lives. When everyone was looking to cure the patients who were struck by this deadly virus, a very unlikely person stood up and proposed that something can be done to prevent this disease. After facing a lot of criticism for their 'prevention' centric approach, Jonas Salk and Hilary Koprowsky came out with a vaccine which helped eradicate polio to a great extent. What we have at hand is a deadly disease called 'terrorism'. Yes, increasing security and destroying terrorist camps is the best and only 'cure' possible. But none of us are looking at ways in which we can prevent it, i.e. attack the roots of this disease for its eradication. This does not mean that we stop the curing part. But both curing and preventing must run in parallel for its complete eradication. To understand how to cure the terrorism disease, is to understand what makes these people join these camps and get brain washed. After a lot of analysis, I came to this conclusion that we really need to DO something, as so everyone else is suggesting. But contradictory to so many people, what we need to increase is 'Talking' which every one is condemning ("We only talk, we don't do"). We need to talk to each other more than what we have done ever before. For people like me, who do not have the power that media possesses, the authority which politicians possess, we can do our best by doing two things from now on. Firstly, we must behave as highly responsible citizens by voicing our concerns for increase in security and make the politicians do something this time. This is our way to contribute to the 'cure' of this disease. Now, the second way is the most important one, and you can do a lot to make this happen. Terrorism is no doubt a top priority issue along with poverty and lack of education. My point here is also purely logical. We must talk 24x7 about national issues. By talking I mean, debating and discussing in a professional manner. Just like the famous We The People, we need such debates to happen every minute and in every nook and corner of India. Till now, college students have been talking 24x7 about national issues like SRK or Britney Spears. If we involve more and more people in our debates about real national issues, our minds would only evolve. It is through these debates and discussions that we might find a politician's relative debating with us, which will have a chain reaction and ultimately influence the politician himself. We may have a young Muslim within our debating coterie and he may realize that all of us really want a secular India and that being a part of any terrorist organization is just the most horrible thing that can happen to anyone, and this further may have chain reactions. The point is simple. The more we talk about highly important things in a professional manner, the more we evolve. The more people we talk to, we lessen the probability of young people joining such horrifying camps run by totally insane people. How you can help here is by organizing We The People in every college and slowly then in every street. I think I am clear on this point, what I really mean to say is that we can start a revolution based on We The People, and at the forefront will be all the professional debate moderators like Barkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai, Arnab Goswami etc. I guess this is the best way we can make people aware and also at the same time follow this Gandhian solution which would eventually give us very good results in the form of a peaceful society. We really need to get everybody participate in these debates and even if it takes a two months of planning and marketing for such a revolution, I would eagerly contribute with loads of ideas, one of them being, holding these discussions in monuments like Humayun's Tomb, where the ambience ensures peaceful discussions and patriotic feelings inside every participant.

If this seems to you a sensible solution then I would love to hear from you about some future planning we all could do to bring about such a revolution. And personally speaking, I made it my mission to chat one-on-one with at least 3 friends everyday after the blasts took place. They all were full of rage and their message was the same, 'Let's DO something now'. And when asked, what should we DO NOW, they felt comfortable because while chatting I could not see their blank faces. And then I indulged with them, in talking about the cure to all these things, and trust me, all of them, in total 15 now, have realized that they indulged in all the non-sense with their friends at school and college. My view in simple words is this : Young people need to talk about issues of national importance right now, and talk professionally for a meaningful evolution of their minds, so that we can reach meaningful conclusions which help us in the long run. This is the DO we can DO for now. I see every human being as a potential 'Pillar of Thought', if all of us can get together and think and talk, it will be half the action done. I hope it doesn't sound clichéd, but I firmly believe in this:

Action without thought is a form of insanity; Thought without action is a crime. –Einstien.

The following are some more suggestions and a short summary:

* NSG & Armed Forces: A problem of quality as much as of quantity. Make the defence forces as lucrative as the corporate sector is today.

* Socially conscious corporate sector: Companies specializing in building security products. Free and evolving market will ensure competition & hence quality. Encourage innovations in security domain.

* Let's rise above issues which do not have any relation to solving this major problem. For e.g. issues which recently involved Abbas Ali Naqvi, R.R. Patil, Ram Gopal Varma and K Achutanandan.

* Roots of economic boom we had can be traced to IIM graduates. On these lines, create a new Industry starting from B.Tech(Security & Intelligence). M.Tech (Security & Intelligence). Students should specialize in the security domain and trained in at least the most minimal course offered by Army, Navy or Air Force.

* A la Singapore: Compulsory service to the nation for 2 years after high school. Could be as scouts, employees at zoos, national museums etc.

* Make debates and discussions compulsory in every school and corporate house. A debate hour when the entire country debates and discusses issues of national importance in small groups in a professional manner, everyday at the same time.

* Increase awareness about IAS, IPS & IFS amongst the youth. Start publicity campaigns in colleges and schools.

* Gandhigiri: Start trusting, believing and appreciating politicians and you'll soon see the change in them.

Thank you for sparing your precious time and reading this.

Then & Now

2008-11-05T03:16:00.000-08:00

We used to travel great distances, usually without any cars or bikes, to invite a person to be our guest, but now, it is the mode of transport that person uses, that determines if he would be our guest or not.

We used to praise the person more before he died, but now, even after his death, the act has turned into a formality, seldom adhered to.

We used to stay fit and eat good food so that we could think how we could be of better use for others, but now, we only think of how we can use others better to stay fit and eat good food.

We used to oppose unethical practices and gain friends while doing so, but now, we gain through unethical practices and refer to others in the same boat, as friends.

We used to convert the occasion of a guest coming home into a festival, but now, we celebrate festivals so that guests come home.

We used to construct small houses but live in lavish homes, but now we construct lavish houses, and at times, die even without seeing it become anything close to a home.

We used to love without expecting anything from the other, yes anything, but now, we would love anyone who would give us anything that we expect the most.

We used to bring home a poor man on some days so that he wouldn’t have to search for food on the roads like an animal at least for that one day, but now, we bring home animals, and often give them food, which many poor men can’t even afford in an entire lifetime.

We used to talk about our youth doing various things everyday for our country, but now we only talk about our youth going to various countries everyday, hiding the selfish interests, behind the veil of globalization.

We used to earn in order to be able to do something for our country, but now, we ask, if the country can do something for us so that we can earn more, yes, for ourselves.

We used to regard our values as our priceless assets, but now we value nothing else, but our pricey assets.

We used to live life every second then, but now every second has become a reminder for our survival.

Other countries with lose values used to look up to us, but now, we look up to other countries for selfish gains and lose our values.

I used to think that what we were, we will soon realize, was just an unreal utopia-like past, but now, I think if we love that kind of past more than the present, it is just a matter of time before you join me to bring that past back and move towards the future like no one has ever before.

Just one of those : A glance at them..

2008-09-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

When everything else matters..and they find their existence on this blog..well almost..
After a Toyota Corolla passed by the auto-rikshaw I was traveling in, inside, three tryinng-to-be-paris hilton species, telling the story of thousands others alike)

“A party to attend, planned weeks before, action taken in the weeks passed by, impact of tonight’s gig, an impression for eternity.
From buying chic jewellery, to Gucci-Armani combo of clothing, to uncover everything that should be,
a visit to the parlor to hide everything that must be,
a million calls to gossip about everything that has to be,
tears and screams of agony and ecstasy for every relationship that wasn't meant to be,
after party gossips about every guy and gal that seemed to be,
affluent parents showing off at social gatherings for their underprivileged child's upliftment that needs to be,
the entire journey of their physical and mental state being written at iWrite because their spiritual state didn’t deserve to be..”

When everything else.. doesn't matter..

2008-09-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

(After passing some 50 people, on footpath, waiting for their divine, to anoint them as breadwinners.. )

“For each man who eats the garlic version thrice everyday, in an air-conditioned room, with extra topping and cheese, and spends every moment of his life, to earn ‘bread’ for himself and alike, trying to win a race which is essentially nothing more than an infinitely large circular loop,
Thousands crave for the 1% of the basic version of that bread for months, even years, but he walks with his head held high, boasting off hungry countrymen and materialistic belongings as perishable as himself…..”

A Child's Plea

2008-09-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

I seek blessings in my final days
from a mother who holds on to my roots till this day,
bending over the inspector she has sent,
his gushing waters, ready to investigate my decay.

Suspects? My cooks, so I drop them in his lap
his cold blooded pile of pebbles forming a perfect trap,
several weeks of questioning, the greens turn into exhausted brown
but his assistants won’t let them go, nor let them drown.

But the boundaries show his softer side
his clods of sediments have this to say,
“How can such precious green foliage be the culprit?
We accompany them from now on, making sure they happily flow away.”

Not a demand but a polite request,
Leave it upon you as the creator knows best,
Oh Mother! The wise clod knows it too in a way,
That my each cook will go back to you, not here to stay.

All the investigations by the inspector’s juniors, does it amuse?
Does it really matter whether they come home as convicts or falsely accused?